I don’t know about you, but I’ve never known exactly what the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland was smoking in that hookah.
And sometime I wonder if I, or the writers, must have been under the same influence when I read some documents from County Durham. The most recent document to induce this feeling of total unreality is the latest on “Area Action Partnerships”.
Now, despite being a councillor I’m still self-aware enough to recognise that only anoraks like me take much interest in the details of local authority life - like the “big idea” of the unitary council, aka Area Action Partnerships. These, we are told, are to create innovative ways of delivering power to the people (their words, not mine), having just got rid of your district councils.
However, if anoraks are in the minority, there are plenty of people out there who want to know that some common sense is being applied to how their council tax is spent.
There are to be fourteen AAPs around the county, ranging from a mega East Coast AAP at Easington which I guess will be around 100,000 people, to a “mini” in Weardale which I guess will struggle to get much past 5,000.
I don’t have a problem with that - horses for courses - but I do wonder who’s been smoking what when I read that they are still talking about a budget of £250,000 for each AAP of which £100,000 will cover staffing costs in each area. You don’t have to be Einstein to work out that whilst this represents one kind of equality, it flies totally in the face of another. If the crude figures above were right it would mean spending £2.50 per head on the folk in Easington, and £50 per head in Weardale.
As absurdly, Area Boards comprising not more than 21 members will be made up of one third elected members, one third members of the public, and one third representatives of “partner” organisations.
I can imagine how you choose one third of the members at Easington (though I hope not to be around when the blood hits the wall) but in Weardale, Teesdale and Lanchester, with just two to four councillors across their whole areas, you can’t help wondering whether they are to have tiny boards, or have to ship in some friendly councillors from elsewhere. And who would make that decision?
All this makes for Durham in Wonderland - but actually these examples are only two of the more minor madnesses of the scheme. The really big nonsense is deciding how you will make up the AAPs, and how much they’ll have to spend, before you’ve decided what they’ll do!
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”